to read in less than an hour

–;2>>>;2′..<

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答えが見つからなかった.   
意識が失いました.
外国語では,  
母語でも,

辛いことだけ残っている.
kotae ga tsukaranakatta
ishki ga ushinaimashita
gaikokuho de wa
bogo de mo, 

tsurai koto dake nokotteiru.
I could not find the answer.
I lost consciousness.
In foreign languages, 
in my mother tounge too,

only bitter things remain.

2025

++__<>>[,,;’- 

06/01 – 12/01 – The Waves, Virginia Woolf: 

The modernist masterpiece, and without having read it, and despite all interal mental protest to the contrary, it turns out I’d never really understood what that term meant anyway. Somewhere between the anxiety of losing the past and an impulse to build the new. Impulse — in the face of anxiety. 

Out on the face of a cliff, facing an wide, anonymous, northern ocean and exposed to the headwind: everything in you is blown about; cold bright sunshine; and the oil is stripped from your face. Where the past meant conformity — meant meeting standards and petit fours in warm cloisters; and where the new meant this cliff: this raw, and sometimes unintelligible experience of new. Not a stream but a river. And it’s terrifying in parts. The characters — all so full of recognition that their lives simply come at them. That it is not in their power to control. Even for Bernard, who is clearly Woolfs’ write-in. And then setting all this upstream chaos against the never ending beating-on of time?

I’d love to write it gifted too, but I’m glad not to be her. 

+[–___47#:,___

13/01  – 19/01 – Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke.

Almost a manifesto, and I underlined so much that what I left out might communicate more meaning. And it’s all just somehow stuff we always knew, deep down, somewhere in there. But it’s just brilliantly put — with venom and on ice. All the clarity of a crisp morning in winter. And a natural clarity — there is nothing digital about it. Rilke seems to have no artifice. 

And at least a thousand useful heuristics, and ones to return to whilst alone. To help remember that “a work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity”. 

words

—=1//>>>,

  1. laconic: to speak using very few words. 
  2. over-egged: overly embellished or exaggerated
  3. enshittification: online platforms lowering their quality often by adding advertisements 
  4. moffenhoer – word for Dutch women who slept with nazis and had their heads shaved
  5. halation – a halo shaped exposure pattern around light sources seen on chemical film at low speed. 
  6. isomorphism = a mapping between two structures of the same type that can be reversed  by an inverse mapping. 
  7. sardonic – grimly mocking or critical.
  8. unrelement = an atom in set theory
  9. Grothendieck Universe = (in theory) a set in which all of mathematics can be performed
  10. coprolite = fossilised feces 
  11. sympatico = understanding connection
  12. thanatos = the personification  of death 
  13. effete homosexual = effeminate gay man
  14. quotidian = everyday, or routine 
  15. intransigence = unwillingness to change ones views or to agree
  16. Froebel Method – a method of education based on learning through hands on activity, play, and assuming “occupations” 
  17. Usonia = old term for the United States of America
  18. confabulation = the creation of false memories, narratives, or explanations without the intention to deceive.
  19. Cannulated = tubular, to allow something else to pass through (normally a wire). 
  20. Brocken spectre =  magnified (and apparently enormous) shadow of an observer cast in mid air upon any type of cloud opposite a strong light source. The figure’s head can be surrounded by a bright area called Heiligenschein, or halo-like rings of rainbow-coloured light forming a glory, which appear opposite the Sun’s direction when uniformly sized water droplets in clouds refract and backscatter sunlight.
  21. augur: to portend a good or bad outcome
  22. ossified: having turned into bone or boney tissue 
  23. Luther Blisset: a psyeudonom used by creatives around the world for books and music
  24. Wu Ming: Chinese for no-name.
  25. deuteragonist: second in importance to the protagonist.
  26. Akousmatikoi: ‘extremely hard-core Pythagoreans’. They clung onto his every word, as if it was divine dogma. I believe that they didn’t agree with the other type of practitioners trying to further the study of mathematics or science from Pythagoras’ findings. This was as the Akousmatikoi believed it not to be their leader’s original intent. They also refused to accept any philosophic evolution and reinterpretation of Pythagoras’ work or sayings. They practised Silence, wearing simple clothes and avoiding meat.
  27. Transport Cafe: traditional cafe On the motorways of Britain, with an association with motorcycle culture.
  28. Sinistral: left-handed and left sided. 
  29. Liebestod: Love-death, a theatrical device meaning erotic death. 
  30. Portmanteau: a made-up word combining two others e.g. motel 
  31. aphorism: a useful saying 
  32. sic: indicating a direct quote 
  33. assegai: a xhosa throwing spear.
  34. ensconse: to settle yourself in a comfortable, safe or secret place.
  35. metronymy: where a related word is used in place of something it is related to – e.g. oval office for US Presidency
  36. metalepsis: crossovers between narrative levels.
  37. kreuzweg: German for Way of the Cross as well as crossroads.
  38. convive: a fellow drinker or diner at a table, from convivial.
  39. lepidopterist or, archaically, an aurelian: someone who studies moths. 
  40. sephulchral: suggesting death or places where the dead are buried.

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